Links for the rejected:

Interviewer: Well, looking over your resume that you wrote on a used paper napkin, I really do not see what qualifies you for this job as Web Developer or any job here. Job Seeker: Well sir, it says my last name is Short...nephew to Chris Short, the janitor. Interviewer: Excellent! Who cares about finding a Web Developer for this job. Tell Chris I said hello...and the bathrooms look spotless. Oh yes...Welcome aboard!

And the letter reads:

Your Application Has Been Submitted XXXXXXXXXX The following is your confirmation number. Please save this number for future reference: xxxxxx

Thank you for your interest in this career opportunity at Cuyahoga Community College. Based on your responses to the questions on the employment application, you do not meet the required qualifications for this position. Please do not let this discourage you from applying for other positions that interest you as qualifications vary position to position.

Again, thank you for considering Cuyahoga Community College. We wish you success in your future endeavors.