Links for the rejected:

Hiring Manager: Looking at all of these resumes has helped me remember I have other things to do. Everyone else in the room: Excellent idea sir! Wasting time on other things RULES!

And the letter reads:

Your Application Has Been Submitted XXXXXXXXXX The following is your confirmation number. Please save this number for future reference: xxxxxx

Thank you for your interest in this career opportunity at Cuyahoga Community College. Based on your responses to the questions on the employment application, you do not meet the required qualifications for this position. Please do not let this discourage you from applying for other positions that interest you as qualifications vary position to position.

Again, thank you for considering Cuyahoga Community College. We wish you success in your future endeavors.