Links for the rejected:

Hiring Manager: Looking at all of these resumes has helped me remember I have other things to do. Everyone else in the room: Excellent idea sir! Wasting time on other things RULES!

And the letter reads:

Your resume has been received by the Human Resources department of the American Cancer Society. We appreciate your interest in employment opportunities and we are currently reviewing your qualifications.

We will contact you at a later date if the hiring department is interested in scheduling an interview, or if your background matches a current opening. If no opening matches your qualifications, we will keep your materials on file for up to one year. The employment page of our website, www.cancer.org, is updated weekly with new vacancies.

Human Resources Department
American Cancer Society
National Home Office