Links for the rejected:

Employer: Where was that resume I told you to file? Can you bring it back with three additional copies? Employee: Oh, I am sorry. I thought when you said to file it, you meant throw it in the trash like always. Employer: Ah who am I kidding! We were just gonna hire someone else anyway. The janitor told me about his nephew, who has a computer.

And the letter reads:

Dear Ms. Agatha:

Thank you for considering (An Engineering Consulting Firm) for employment opportunities and for taking the time to interview with us for the Engineer position in our Mechanics and Materials Practice. While your experience and skills are highly impressive, we are going to continue our search for a candidate who more closely fits our needs for this position.

Your interest in our firm is truly appreciated and we wish you much success in securing a position compatible with your background and interests.

Sincerely,

Human Resources Clone